Mr Riley gets his dream house
Having a flutter with a little each way does no one any harm. And who knows, maybe you did pick the winner of the Melbourne Cup? If you did then you have tasted success. Prestige and financial reward are yours. Ever so briefly, you and Kerry Packer had something in common: he too stopped work to listen to the race being run. Unfortunately, retiring on your winnings or even feeding a polo pony for a week may not be immediately possible. Be patient, there may be a death in the family. While the big race comes around every November, relatives don't cark it so frequently. This is a pity because death can have its rewards. For the expiree there's the afterlife to look forward to. (Each to their own I say — if they think they're booked in for eternity who am I to insist otherwise.) For the living there's always the chance — and certainly a better chance than winning the Melbourne Cup — that the departed's loss (of life) is your gain. I am, of course, referring to worldly goods. How sweet it is that they can't take it with them because it is far better to be written into a few wills than win once a year at the gee-gees. If you want to get ahead in life it is a bequest you need. The fruits of someone's mortal toil can suddenly be yours. Mourn by all means, beat your breast if you have to, but remember how sweet it is to be related to the real estate. Ask Kerry Packer. Surely you don't believe he got where he's got to merely by hard work and playing the nags? No, it was dead relatives that made Kerry what he is today. ... And Aunt Maud made me. Some may dress their walls with a crucifix or a saintly icon, but the only shrine in our house is to Aunt Maud because our house used to be hers. With her death, we live mortgage free. What an utterance: "Mortgage free! Mortgage free!" I tell you: capitalism doesn't get any better than this. There you are — up at seven each morning, home again after five dog tired, week in/week out — and I've got what you have to slave a lifetime for. It's downright unfair. All I can say is: stiff bickies, I got lucky. But I'm no more deserving than you are, nor is Kerry Packer with all his millions more worthy of financial security than I. I don't feel guilty. I'm just a lucky bastard.Dave Riley