The story so far
Synopsis, being a summary of what has gone before, for the benefit of new readers:
BILL CLINTON, a presidential nominee, conceives the project of executing a salutary missile strike to mark the consequences of wrongdoing and creates for the purpose
SADDAM HUSSEIN, a species of human Arab devil endowed with diabolical powers which Clinton now utilises for the sake of his own electoral chances. He then discovers
THE OPPRESSED KURDS, who are now more oppressed than they were last week. In order to show how an evil man can debase the highest ideals of the New World Order, Clinton champions the Kurds and seeks support from
JOHN HOWARD, prime minister and budgeteer, whose task is to attack his own subjects and behave at all times in an indecent manner while arranging for everyone else to lead virtuous lives. Meanwhile
THE OPPRESSED KURDS, who are oppressed here, there and everywhere because they are allowed no nation of their own, are once again oppressed more than they were last week. So long as the Oppressed Kurds don't get a little bit of Iraq, and little bit of Turkey and of Iran too, Clinton can go back to sleep, leaving the plot to provide for itself. As Clinton sleeps
WORLD OIL PRICES go berserk and the world wonders what will happen next. Now sleeping soundly, Clinton is determined to faithfully carry out the terrible mission he has embarked on and be elected for a second term. But, short on food and medicines
THE PEOPLE OF IRAQ, when not being bombed by a succession of US presidents or brutalised at home were looking forward to a break in the rough times when the missiles rained down once again. The people of Iraq tell Clinton: We can't eat warheads.
KIM BEAZLEY, newly appointed leader of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition, is keen on being extra loyal this week and tries hard to find something to oppose while denying most profusely that his virtue has already been assailed in times gone by. Beazley enters the story very briefly here, while back in bed
BILL CLINTON smiles as he dreams of a refined hydrocarbon with the ability to fuel motor cars and secure his re-election as the president of the United States of America. Now read on.
Further extract from Manuscript: With Hillary out for the night and the Democratic nomination sown up, Bill slept soundly in the big bed. Not a bad day's work, he thought to himself. The notion that he was an incendiary who uses petroleum never entered his head. But then Bill wasn't one for such musings. After ringing around the faithful as the missiles went off, he was confident that despite some mild criticism emanating from some quarters, the exercise had proven worthwhile. How am I going to top this, he wondered?
God, Allah or whoever seemed to smile on him as he drifted deeper into the land of nod. When, from within his boudoir,
A VOICE PROCLAIMED: Dream on, Billy Boy, and think but this — and all is mended — if some shadows have offended. While such rough visions did appear, oil is safe for another year.
Dave Riley