The tale of Robin Hood
Having unjustly been accused by two policemen of stealing policy items hither and thither, the memorable hero Robin Hood was condemned to live in an office atop a hill, beside a lake, half way up a very tall flagpole.
Whenever Robin spied passing trade from his eyrie, he'd send his band of merry men (and women too, because the more the merrier) to reconnoitre. Back they'd come with Senators Colston and Harradine — two gentlemen of very independent income, laden down with much means and principle.
Robin said to the two: "Join us and together we will make merry". But Senator Colston, who was dying of the ague, said, "Thank you for your offer, but I aspire to much higher things in the short time I have left upon this earth". So off he went to do penance wrapped in sackcloth and ashes, all the while beating himself with his superannuation.
The other senator stayed for tea and made merry, as much as he was able (the good senator was normally so ethical he never ever had a thing to do with parties).
And, boys and girls, what merrymaking was had that night! After everyone had feasted and had their fill of carnal knowledge of each other, the visiting senator thanked them most profusely and made them all a present of a Wik, from which to make candles to find their way in the dark to the next election (somewhere around the corner).
Robin thanked his guest, and all the merry people gave a rousing cheer.
The next day, they all went abroad seeking anyone who came near. They demanded of each a flat tax of two shillings and sixpence, which Robin had told them to secure from all, be they the highest or the lowest in the land. Thus was begun the General Sojourners Tax (GST), so called because no matter what anyone did, they were sure to pay a tax on it.
Robin thereafter became very good at socialism and gave away anything he had to whoever deserved it most. He gave away bits and pieces of his domain until there was nothing left. Then Robin died very romantically. He shot an arrow into the air and had himself buried where it landed.
To this day, no-one knows exactly where that arrow fell because, in his haste to die so, Robin forgot to pay his GST.
By Dave Riley