Winston and Kimbo: just for you!
Such has been the massive public response to the announcement of the political aspirations of P.M. Winston — ventriloquist's dummy and the future DIY prime minister of Australia — that we at campaign headquarters have been inundated with requests from ordinary Australians seeking details of his schedule of personal appearances.
Some of you may have been fortunate enough to catch Winston during the recent May Day activities around the country. As long-time friend of the working man (and working woman too, of course, as the girls are as often as not in overalls nowadays, aren't they?), Winston managed to get around to some of the major gatherings of proletarian-type people.
Where he wasn't able to attend, we forwarded a replica of P.M. Winston in the form of a delightful hand puppet. We thought festival organising committees could put these figures to good use — as a community service, as it were.
At a convenient height of 30 centimetres, the P.M. Winston hand puppet (soon to be distributed as Winston Junior) is ideal for all those public events where "input" from such a significant political figure is desired. Winston Junior comes complete with change of clothes, choice of spectacle frames and easy to follow instructions on how to mount your own parliamentary show.
The prototype has proven very popular and we start full production later this month. So if you seek to possess your very own PM, be sure to contact us for ordering details.
We did find, however, that there was some reticence on the part of many gathered at these May Day activities to warm unconditionally to Winston. Perhaps we should have foreseen this, as Winston does look very much like the current Tory prime minister of Australia, John Howard.
Technicians and strategists reviewed this situation, and during a hastily convened conference, the P.M. Winston Parliamentary Party of Moderate and Peaceful Progress Within the Limits of the Law (working title) decided to recruit to the campaign for public office a running mate — a figure who would have a greater credibility among the labouring masses (at least that's the theory.)
This, comrades and friends, has been the genesis of Kimbo. Running (and very much a soul) mate to P.M. Winston, Kimbo at 29 centimetres in height with a generous supply of flesh and bluster, is the ideal foil to P.M. Winston.
Just the thing to take down the pub for a few beers, a hit and a giggle, this jolly hand puppet (a dummy is in the pipeline) is sure to impress your friends with his ready combination of political savvy and good humour.
Kimbo, unlike Winston, is being marketed nationally with special customised options geared to the ordinary preferences of your everyday Aussie mum and dad. So if you were hoping on getting the politician you think you deserve, then check out what Kimbo has to offer.
Winston Junior and Kimbo are both covered by our special exchange-but-no-refund policy. If you don't like the one you ordered, we'll send you the other. Three years. No questions asked.
BY DAVE RILEY
<dhell@ozemail.com.au>