Theology lesson
"Israel is being very Christian. It's turning the other cheek." — Jewish biblical scholar Eugene Borowitz in USA Today.
History lesson
"I do not understand this squeamishness about the use of gas. I am strongly in favour of using poisoned gas against uncivilised tribes ... We cannot in any circumstance acquiesce in the non-utilisation of any weapons which are available to procure a speedy termination of the disorder which prevails on the frontier." Response of Winston Churchill, then in Britain's War Office, 1919, when asked by the RAF for permission to use chemical weapons "against recalcitrant Arabs as an experiment". Quoted by Alexander Cockburn in the Nation, February 18.
It figures
A February 16 Australian story claimed that the US bombing of the air raid shelter in Baghdad had "stiffened the resolve of ordinary and opinion-leading Americans to prosecute the campaign". Its evidence included: "In Atlanta, Dr Pedro Garcia, a psychiatrist, said his patients were solidly behind the war".
Silver linings
Here, courtesy of Greenpeace US, are fourth-quarter 1990 profit performances for leading US oil companies, compared to the same quarter in 1989: Amoco: up 69% to US$538 million. Texaco: 35% increase to $388 million. Chevron: $688 million profit compared to a loss of $883 million a year earlier. Exxon: up 121% (1989 profit margins were eroded by the bill for the Exxon Valdez oil spill). Arco: increase of 40.4% to $566 million. Phillips: up 46.5%. Shell: up 68.9%. Unocal: 54.2% rise in profits for the full year.
A way to eliminate leave loading
"We should have a seven-day-a-week, 24-hour-a-day attitude to work." — Federal opposition industrial relations spokesperson John Howard.
Skase, Bond, Herscu ...
"I've cried for many people. My tears are not confined geographically to Israel." — Bob Hawke.
Image problems
"After a segment about a chemical attack that includes a shot of a disfigured face, it might not be the best time to talk about Oil of Olay skin care." — Advertising executive Richard Dale, explaining why US networks are having
trouble getting sponsors for their news programs.
Kindergarten resumes
"They are wearing darker suits, taking more points of order and generally having a go at me." — House of Reps speaker Leo McLeay on how televising of parliament has affected opposition behaviour.
What about the size of his head?
"Q: Does General Schwarzkopf ... weigh 250 pounds? A: General Schwarzkopf is a big man, but regulations prohibit the disclosure of his weight." — Parade magazine (US). February 10.