A week of a mini-budget which spread the Victorian state burden evenly and fairly among the poor, and of an industrial relations act which puts a bit more equality into the already equal and loving and caring relationship between employer and employee.
At last the employers will have a little bit of power to act in their and — it goes without saying — the national, interest. Despite that, the bloody trade unions which run this country were out in the streets threatening these progressive and radical moves towards recovery. And the great men who are bringing us all this radicalism are so weighed down by the responsibility that Phil Good-for-the-bosses and others have been forced to give themselves a substantial little pay rise just to make it all worthwhile.
Poor Joannie Learner was heard to moan in parliament that all this would hurt the workers. So, obviously, the previous government really cared about the workers. It must just have wanted not to make it too obvious.
But Phil Good-for-the-bosses made it clear that he wasn't doing anything against the interests of the decent worker who just wants to work. "What we're doing", said Phil, "is giving the individual worker the opportunity to work — and making sure they'll be nailed to the cross if they don't. Unless they're a dole bludger, of course. But my colleague Little Johnny How-hard will take care of that.
"We are not forcing workers back to the dark ages. Look, juniors can negotiate a minimum wage no lower — no lower, mind you — than the lowest paid to seven-year-olds in the 18th century, or the lowest paid to sweatshop workers in Manila, Bangkok, Jakarta or Seoul, whichever comes first, or last, or lowest, or whatever I mean.
"And after all, and this is an important after all, if the worker doesn't like the offer made by the loving and caring employer, he ... or she ... doesn't have to take the job. Or he ... or she for that matter ... can stay on the present minimum award without the slightest prospect of a wage rise ever. We've gone out of our way to be fair."