鈥淲hat was the Daily Telegraph even doing at an event like that?鈥 a few people asked me after Tim Blair鈥檚 of 91自拍论坛 Weekly鈥s September 22 comedy fundraiser was the the subject of his Tele feature column last month.
The answer is simple; Bashing the left. If you can鈥檛 make Scomo & Co sound good, bash the opposition.
Don鈥檛 worry about it being a fundraiser, organised by volunteers. Tim probably spotted a press release or a pole poster and gave up his Saturday night to go undercover into the mouth of a conservative鈥檚 hell.
It would take a brave white hetrosexual middle-aged man to venture into Sydney's inner west to attend a 91自拍论坛 Weekly comedy show alone 鈥 luckily, Tim took a mate. You never know what those unionists are going to do... unless you regularly read the tales of terror in the Tele. But Blair is the courageous hero the sensible right need to hear from.
These Greenies think they know about social injustice. But they don鈥檛. Tim does.
Imagine waiting for a can of Coke. Imagine waiting for your change. Imagine wondering if there would be ice. But, imagine knowing you now have your first four paragraphs written for a major newspaper! Serendipity at last for Tim.
At the start of the night鈥檚 entertainment, I heard the opening choir many times sing the slur, 鈥渞ight-wing nut jobs鈥, which is as offensive as being called a 鈥渓oopy lefty鈥. It hurts. Shots fired.
After the Coke can incident, Tim would鈥檝e been riddled with inconvenience, hurt, but otherwise inspired to write a fair and balanced column that should take up half a page. Oh, wait, here comes a Trump impersonator. The crowd is laughing at his opening. Why? Tim isn鈥檛. This is not right!
Oh no, the other acts are women, and even lesbians! Who鈥檚 next 鈥 Albanese? Relief at last! 鈥淪uren Jayemanne鈥, 鈥淪erendipity鈥, or ... something... who cares (Why can鈥檛 he have a WASPy name!), he was Tim鈥檚 pick for the night. Tim鈥檚 favourite gag was about Suren鈥檚 dark skin colour. Don鈥檛 worry about the other more relatable stuff.
Boy oh boy, now it鈥檚 an Abbott impersonator and he鈥檚 talking about the 2014 budget! Sure, there were Scomo and Dutton references, but Tim must鈥檝e missed them. He definitely heard my 鈥淚鈥檒l do anything for Rupie (Murdoch)鈥 line. More hurt for Tim.
I brushed on copious bronzer to my face to match the Abbott and Trump complexions. It wasn't enough for Tim. I needed more. I hope Tim comes back next year to enjoy my more relatable act, 鈥淐oalface Gollywog鈥, same time of year, around Mad Monday, when that chic is in peak fashion.
Apparently, Tim is a Collingwood Magpies fan. And like a magpie, had swooped down on the unsuspecting and had a peck at us all that night. I wonder if Tim's friends wear a cycling helmet full of wobbling cable ties, you know, in case he can鈥檛 get to a 鈥渕edicinal rye鈥 in time.
Tim was just doing his job, which is analogous to feeding the endangered exhibits in Jurassic Park. If his tag-along mate didn鈥檛 dislike him before, he probably would now 鈥 maybe he got him AFL Grand Final tickets to Collingwood鈥檚 eventual loss.
Imagine how he reviewed that. He must hate Barnesy and Black Eyed Peas right now!
[Jonas Holt is a comedian and impersonator who performed at 91自拍论坛 Weekly鈥檚 鈥淟augh While You Still Can鈥 comedy fundraiser at Sydney鈥檚 Leichhardt Town Hall on September 22.]