Aries
You will spend 45 minutes in a queue at Centrelink today, only to find that they've suspended your student allowance for no apparent reason. They assure you it will be restored — if you fill out seven forms and attend three interviews.
Taurus
Today, you will leave your house and be surrounded by frustrated, alienated people who seem to live in dread of making eye-contact with you. As you cross the street at a pedestrian crossing, a motorist will speed up and try to run you down. You will feel depressed and think that maybe buying an iPod will cheer you up — but you won't be able to afford one.
Gemini
If you are a woman, you will get to hear federal health minister Tony Abbott on the evening news describing your right to control your body and to choose whether or not to carry a pregnancy to full-term as a "tragedy" and an "unutterable shame". You will get the urge to hurt him.
Cancer
If you wear a veil, have a beard, or are of Middle Eastern appearance, you will be treated with hostility and suspicion wherever you go. The newspaper headlines this morning will be racist, Islamophobic and highly offensive, and in the articles, Peter Costello and John Howard will try to out-do each other with backward, racist comments.
Leo
Today, you will fail to complete an important assignment for uni, as you have to work for four days a week serving coffee to lawyers for $10 an hour in order to pay your rent.
Virgo
You will come to the realisation that we should aim to understand what happens in the world using science and reason; that astrology is a rather dubious science, and horoscopes are full of shit.
Libra
If you live in Baghdad, you will have access to electricity for four hours today, if you're lucky. You will not have access to clean water, and you will stay inside all day because a) Baghdad's not the safest city in the world, and b) you are part of the 60% of the Iraqi population that is now unemployed. Your brother will be killed by a US-backed death squad set up to provoke sectarian violence between Sunnis and Shiites. Surprisingly, you will develop feelings of hostility towards the occupying troops, and become part of the 65% of the population who support attacks by the Iraqi armed resistance on the US-led occupation forces.
Scorpio
If you live in Iran, you will begin suffering from acute anxiety, and as you hear Bush talking about "regime change" and "weapons of mass destruction", you will wonder, "Is anyone else getting a sense of deja-vu?"
Sagittarius
If you live in the US, you will be one of the 5 million people who have sunk below the poverty line under the rule of President George Bush — however, living in a poor community as you do, you will be provided with heavily discounted heating oil by Venezuela's revolutionary government in an act of solidarity with the US people. At school today, military recruiters will come and encourage you to join the army and fight for your country. You won't be able to afford to go to uni anyway, so you consider it for a quarter of a second before thinking: "Hah — fuck that."
Capricorn
If you live in Venezuela, you will feel a sense of tremendous pride and satisfaction as you know you are part of an incredibly important process — a struggle for popular power, democracy and socialism — that is having global impact. You will now have a real say in decision-making in your community, and your quality of life will have improved dramatically over the last few years as a result of the Bolivarian revolution. You will now be able to read and write, as the revolution has eliminated illiteracy — largely with the help of Cuban teachers — and you have also had the benefit of one of the millions of free medical consultations provided by more than 20,000 Cuban medics.
Aquarius
If you live in sub-Saharan Africa, you will be one of 26,000 people throughout the Third World who will die today from poverty — most likely from malnourishment, a preventable disease or an AIDS-related illness.
Pisces
Today, you will come to the understanding that this global system that inflicts war, poverty and absolute misery on the overwhelming majority of the world's population must be radically changed. You will feel powerful empathy and compassion for your fellow human beings, who are being brutalised each day so that a handful of capitalists can increase their profits, and your blood will boil with fury at this reality. You will decide that you can no longer stand on the sidelines and watch this happening, and resolve to join together with others to most effectively fight for social justice and a better world. Maybe you should join Resistance???
From 91×ÔÅÄÂÛ̳ Weekly, March 15, 2006.
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