Our greedy seniors
The bold offensive that the government is waging against the elderly is to be applauded. What sort of nation would it be if there wasn't someone to defend us from these greedy bastards?
As Tim Fischer, a vocal leader of the government's stand, proclaimed this week: "We are taking action, we are embarked on reform, we are representing the Aussie battlers in aged care — and you are representing the millionaires squatting in nursing homes and paying next to nothing for the privilege".
That's just the sort of fighting words we hard-pressed Aussie battlers like to hear. Old folks seem to think that just because they worked hard, paid their taxes, fought our wars and raised a few nippers on the cheap they are entitled to a free ride as soon as a bit of wear and tear sets in.
They've got a nerve!
It's about time this situation was remedied. Change like this has been a long time coming. If mum or gran wants to start peeing her pants, she should be paying up front for the privilege.
The fact is the ready use the elderly have put to these facilities has become something of an embarrassment. Booking yourself into these places when things get too tough at home has become something of a popular activity. Word gets around down at the bowling club, and before you know it they're all lining up for a bit of R&R.
In the meantime a lifetime of assets are sitting there doing nothing. As you know, the aged weren't born yesterday. They realise that every day is a bonus. They know you're a long time dead. So what do they do? They hang onto their loot until the last moment.
The selfish so-and-sos.
While the rest of us are doing the true-blue Aussie thing and battling for all it's worth, these senior citizens have turned their declining years into reclining ones.
Fortunately, our leaders have finally stopped listening to their mothers. Now there's some sense brought into the business of aged care. We all should realise that if we don't liquidate grandma's assets now, by the time we ourselves place one foot in the grave, the other leg will have nowhere to go.
No-one likes the thought of going gaga, but I'm sure that if we're going to end up as a bunch of hoary old drivellers, we'd like to do it in a bit of style.
So next time you ring home, tell the oldies that the years of sacrificing for their children aren't quite over yet. Tell them this will be the very last request society will make of them. They'll be free to leave for the next world, just as soon as the vale-of-years industry can get its hands on their money.
By Dave Riley